Claudia Dennison Wins It With Venison

(ALGONQUIN, ON)
In an unbelievable upset victory, Claudia Dennison walked away with the big prize last night in the annual chili contest held in Algonquin. Her chili competed with five other excellent chilis and after three rounds of sometimes puzzling, yet always entertaining judgment, "Triple C Chili" was named the winner.

"Your Chili's on Fire," Judge Jason Sloan boldly declared after snuffing out the candle of the runner up, Cherice Chant's, chili.

"I'm shocked, " Dennison said after the announcement. "I really didn't think I'd win. This was my first year of competition and I was just happy to be here."

There was a shock of her own to be delivered.

"I used a secret ingredient: Porcupine," Dennison quipped.

But it was only a tease. In fact, her award winning chili did contain trace elements of deer meat and beans from local grocer Funicuan's store in North Augusta.

Among the also-rans were last year's first place winner, Kathleen Wright, Former Child-Mayor Steve Clark, Hockey Mom Extraordiarre Tina Smith and Chili Contest Provocateur Mark Oliver.

The Groundhog Day BigAss Chili Cookoff began as a way to beat the winter blues in February of 2003. BCI Football Coach Peter Atkinson, a long time friend of Oliver's challenged Oliver to a no-holds-barred cookoff to see who was the better chef. Within a few days the original event was scheduled, rules laid out and a judging panel selected. Atkinson's chili won. An expensive trophy was commissioned and is kept up to date with each year's winner's name engraved upon it. The winner gets to display the trophy for one year and is awarded full bragging rights as well.

So far, this contest is by invitation only, but Oliver would like to see it opened up and made part of a larger Algonquin Village Groundhog Celebration Weekend sometime in the future. Dreams of a parade, a dance and of course a Chili Cookoff drift through his head on a regular basis.

But for now, the Chili Cookoff will remain as is; A proud tradition of tasting excellence and a fun filled friendly winter rivalry.

Today is PayDay!

Yes. Finally. This is the day all Groundhog's have been waiting for: The 4th Annual Groundhog Day Big Ass Chili Cookoff!

I've had to do a little research and a bit of investigating reporting to round out the field of contestants. At our inaugural GDBACC, we had the honour of having two of Brockville's most visible "personalities" amongst our judging panel: Steve and Deanna Clark. Ever since that day, they have begged and pleaded, bribed and blackmailed, and most recently - just plain put up a great big 'huff' whenever I saw them. So - along with the rest of you who were invited to join us, they received special invitations as well as several follow up phone calls and emails.

Yesterday's 9am phone call:
Mark: Put me through to "Deeny Clark"
Reception: Deanna?
Mark: Whoever.
sfx: ring
Deanna: Sports.
Mark: Are you coming or not?
Deanna: I replied to your message. I'm coming. I've very busy right now. I'm on DEADLINE!!!
Mark: Cool. I'll put you down for coming. And I'll name your chili for you. See ya.
Deanna: I'm on DEADLINE!!!
Mark: I got that. Good bye.

So. With that. We have our fifth entry into the race.
Deanna Clark with her very busy concoction: "Deadline Chili". I look forward to smelling it soon.

In the wait-and-see category: First Edition Cookoff Winner, Mr. Pete Atkinson - He no sure. After suffering back to back loses since his narrow and contested victory (he used liquid smoke, now a banned substance) he's pretty much a chili cripple now. If he does show up (and we hope that he does) I'll have a special spot for his "Gimp Chili". Kent Swirsky, three time contestant and fellow looser, has failed to even acknowledge this contest's existence. I suspect that he's now anti-chili and is staging a silent protest to bring focus on the cruelty of this ritualistic barbarianism that is basically boiling HUMAN KIDNEY BEANS!!! Hey, word to Kent - they aren't from humans. They aren't even kidneys. They are simply a bean. They are meant to be eaten! Deal with it ding-dong!

Okay - finally - you are asking yourself, "What about you, Mark Oliver, what are you doing this year that is going to blow our minds?!"

Well - I've just put the finishing touches on this year's masterpiece and I've named it: "Chili From the Gonk". Sing along to it to the tune of "Jenny from the Block". Have a bowl or two and you'll get what I'm talking about.

See you all and your smelly chilis soon!

Time To Add More Garlic!

Whoa! It's just around the corner now!

The 4th Annual Groundhog Day Big Ass Chili Contest. And we've got another entrant, Tina Smith. Now, for those of you not familiar with Ms. Smith, she has a bit of a shady history as far as cooking contests go. You see, at the sister event to ours, The RibOff, she and her husband - Dave - and their eldest son, Matthew, were the judges. So for the shady part, I didn't win. But she and Matthew BOTH voted my ribs best. Normally I win best pecs at this particular pool side event, but I'd take her vote on anything. You're asking why someone with two out of three number one favourite votes did not take the prize - me too! So - Anyway, Dave and Matthew are out of town on a hockey tournament this weekend, but Tina's one more person to put to total shame this weekend! I look forward to smelling her Sweet Hockey Scoring Chili soon!

We have extended the deadline, and are expecting a few last minute competitors. But really, FRIDAY NOON please! I have to hand stitch the doilies with your names on them, and that really takes time.

You know who you are - GET YOUR NAME, YOUR CHILI'S NAME and YOUR PHOTO to me NOW!!!

Unless you are still clinging to your mommy's underhose, crying and bug-eyed, wondering why, oh why, would someone challenge you to throw down so close to Groundhog Day!

Get over it!